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Address by President Cyril Ramaphosa on Human Rights Day, Kimberley, Northern Cape | SA News

Programme Directors,
Minister of Sport, Arts and Culture, Mr Gayton McKenzie,
Premier of Northern Cape, Dr Zamani Saul,
Ministers and Deputy Ministers,
Justices of the Constitutional Court and other courts,
Heads and representatives of constitutional bodies,
Mayors and Councillors,
Leaders of political formations,
Members of the Diplomatic Corps,
Leaders of civil society formations,
Guests,
Fellow South Africans, 

Good Morning.

Goeie môre.

Dumelang. Sanibonani. Molweni. Avuxeni. Ndi Matsheloni. Lotjhani. 

I greet all people across our land on this Human Rights Day.

This is when we celebrate how far we have come together in building a united, non-racial, non-sexist democratic and prosperous…

Literacy Rate: The country has made significant progress in improving literacy
rates since the end of apartheid, with a current rate of approximately 94%.

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  1. Van is getting married, but he and his fiancee have never done the deed – in fact he\’s never been with any woman before. He\’s getting more and more nervous as the big day approaches, so he confides in his friend. His friend says \’No worries man. I\’ll come by the honeymoon suite before you guys get there, and I\’ll hide behind the curtain, and I\’ll whisper instructions to you.\’

    \’You\’d do that for me?\’

    \’Sure thing man!\’

    So the wedding day arrives, it was a lovely service (so I was told, I wasn\’t there myself) and Van\’s friend sneaks into the honeymoon suite as promised and hides behind the curtain.

    Van and his new wife arrive in the room, get settled on the bed, and things are getting steamy.

    But Van is still super nervous and his tummy is bubbling, so he murmers to his wife, \’Listen babe, I\’m just gonna go to the bathroom quick. I think it\’s that wors roll from earlier.\’

    \’Sure thing babe.\’

    So Van goes into the bathroom, and he\’s taking quite a long time. And his wife is starting to feel the nerves herself. And it\’s getting worse. She can\’t hold it in. But she doesn\’t want to go after he\’s gone and totally ruin the mood. So she looks around and finally finds a shoebox. Quickly, she does her business in the shoebox, and she shoves it under the bed just as Van comes back from the loo.

    Van gets back on the bed and they go at it again. But after a minute or so Van smells something not so lekker.

    \’What\’s that smell?\’

    \’Nothing babe,\’ he wife tries to assure him.

    \’No man there\’s definitely something not so lekker in this room!\’VSo Van starts looking around the room, in the corners, in the cupboard, and finally he looks under the bed, and sees the shoebox.

    He pull it out, and opens it up, and in horror he shouts \’Sies! Daar\’s kak in hierdie doos!\’

    And from behind the curtain his friend yells, \’NEE MAN, DRAAI HAAR OM!\”

  2. There was a German, an Italian and Van der Merwe on death row.The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

    1. to be shot

    2. to be hung