President Cyril Ramaphosa has, in terms of Section 90(1)(b) of the Constitution, designated Minister of Mineral and Petroleum Resources Gwede Mantashe as the Acting President of the Republic of South Africa from 18 to 22 May 2025.
This designation flows from the simultaneous Working Visits by President Ramaphosa and Deputy President Paul Mashatile to the United States of America and the Republic of France respectively.
Africa Fact: 1.3 billion people already live in Africa – more people than in Europe and North America combined.
Whistler
So Van is in a bar in London with a Frenchman and an Italian. They are boasting of their sexual prowess.
The Frenchman says \”When I pleasure my mistress, I tickle her nipples with a feather, and she floats an inch above the bed in bliss\”.
The Italian, not to be outdone, says \”When I make love to my girlfriend, I lick amaretto liqueur from her navel. She floats a foot above the bed in delight\”.
Van says \”Ya, well, er… When I screw my wife, I wipe my dick on the curtains afterwards, and let me tell you man, she hits the fuckin\’ roof!\”
Miss Mustard
Van der Merwe goes to Paris to watch the Boks take on the Brits at the world cup.
Whilst in Paris, he walks around, gaping and staring at everything – so much so that he walks smack bang into a fire hydrant which hits him so hard on the family jewels that he has to be rushed to hospital where the doctors tell him they have to remove his testicles.
Van goes berserk, he bites and snarls at every one and he won\’t let anybody within 10 metres of him. Eventually they find a South African doctor in the hospital and get him to talk to Van.
He walks up to Van and tells him \”Hey Van, die ouens moet jou knaters uithaal.\”
Van replies \”O, okay, ek dog die bliksems wil my test tickets vat.\”