In 2024, South Africa recorded a staggering 26 232 murders – a death toll that surpasses the tragic number of lives lost in Gaza – an active war zone – during the same year. While the South African government leads international proceedings at the International Court of Justice over the crisis in Gaza, the bloodbath within our own borders escalates.
In response to the murder crisis in South Africa, Action Society has launched the “Decade of Decline” campaign, a national call to action highlighting the spiralling crime rates and the government’s systemic failure to protect its citizens.
“This is a national emergency. It is a shameful contradiction that our government finds time…
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airport hobo
So I\’m real good friends with this guy named Juan Ted. Now, Juan is a pretty improbable guy. He can steal ANYTHING he wants to. Literally anything. It could be the shirt off your back, the wallet in your pocket, or I\’m even sure he\’d find a way to steal your house (And your spouse too). So anyway, one day Juan and I are sitting around watching TV, and they announced that the hope diamond will not be on display anymore and is now getting moved to an undisclosed location. So as we hear this, Juan says \”I\’m gonna steal it\”. Now I know how good Juan is at this kind of stuff, so I just tell him good luck and he goes on his way. Eventually he narrows his search down to a small cave in South Africa. When Juan gets there, he doesn\’t see any guards or anything outside the cave, so he just walks in assuming he was wrong about where the diamond was. He wanders around for a while until he sees a long lit hallway with the hope diamond at the end of it. Confident in his abilities, he strolls over to the diamond and picks it up before realizing its a trap! Suddenly, red lights flashed, armed men came running out, sirens went off. You could hear one of the men say under his breath \”We finally caught Juan Ted.\” But Juan, being the best thief in the world, said \”Not quite. On the count of three, I will disappear.\” As the men looked around confused, Juan began to count. \”Uno. Dos.\” And he disappeared without a tres.
Scratch
Van is hitch-hiking and he gets picked up by a larnie in a merc. After travelling awhile and making small talk, Van asks the larnie what the 3-pointed star on the bonnet is for. The larnie decides to have some fun with Van.
\”Oh, that\’s the sights, you know, for aiming. When I see someone on the side of the road and I want to run him over, I just line him up in the sights.\”