Watch – Manufactured praise: The strange campaign around Senzo Mchunu | SA News

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1. Athena Star

   10 July 2025 at 8:29 pm

   Interview with a pirate:

   There was a pirate who had agreed to do an interview with a local tv station. The reporter was very courteous and professional, giving a bit of background as to the pirate\’s business. She then began interviewing him.

   \”So Mr. Longbeard, are there any risks to your business? I see you have a peg leg- how did that come about?\”

   \”Well, y\’see I were sailing along the coast of South Africa, looking to plunder some locals when as I boarded the small boat from the ship, a great white shark came up and got my leg clean off. \’twas scary yes, but thus is the life of a pirate.\”

   \”Wow, that is pretty scary- well, how about your hook? What happened to your hand with that?\”

   \”Oh now that\’s quite the tale, y\’see I were fighting a rival pirate, and we had locked swords. We had been fighting for a few hours, and were both terribly fatigued. I had a bit of exhaustion and confusion, and when I went to block one of his sword blows, I met him with me hand instead of me sword. Took it right off, but it shocked him so much I managed to get him back pretty good and have him submit. So the hook hand was given as a replacement.\”

   \”Wow. Simply fascinating. Now, what about your eye patch? How did that happen?\”

   \”Well, one day, a seagull was flying overhead, and I looked up. It pooped right in me eye.\”

   \”… Well wow. I must admit, I wouldn\’t think just seagull poop could damage the eye that badly.\”

   \”Oh, I forgot to mention… it were me first day with the hook.\”

2. troubled chick

   10 July 2025 at 5:26 pm

   The Man who could only Drink Milk

   I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He\’d run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he\’d started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed with a rare degenerative liver disease that slowly made him allergic to everything he ate.

   He kept copious notes, and as an avid gastronomist slowly grew to despair as everything he\’d spent his life enjoying became something he could no longer eat. Alcohol went first, then mushrooms, then bread, then root vegetables, then coffee, one at a time he had to remove them from his diet. The doctor was clear: if he kept eating something his liver rejected the autoimmune response would be quick and severe, and would lead to a painful death. Little by little, everything was taken away as an option, until the only thing that remained was milk.

   In some ways, this actually made life easier, because the mental strain of remembering what he could and couldn\’t eat was gone, but then so was the joy in variety. But he took it in stride, and got his own cow and took classes from a farmer to learn everything he could about the only thing that could give him sustenance. And even within milk, he could still have yogurt, butter, cream, some cheeses, and other milk-derived products he hadn\’t fully rejected yet, so it wasn\’t all bad. But then one day a few months later he felt the pain again, and he knew cow\’s milk was no longer an option.

   Lacking other options, he tried goat\’s milk, and he was delighted that it worked! The protein structure is just different enough that his body still tolerated it. That bought him another month. And that\’s when we came up with a wonderful plan to go on one last grand adventure around the world. If he could get one month of life out of the milk of every mammal, he\’d actually have a few more years to enjoy life to the fullest and see the world in all its beauty. Each month, we\’d pick a place with a new mammal, and he would immerse himself fully with the locals, learn all the ways to prepare the milk, and just enjoy the hand he had been dealt as much as he could.

   We milked sheep in New Zealand. Camels in Egypt. Zebras in South Africa. Giant bats in Indonesia. Do you know how many Peruvian cuy you need to milk to get a single glass? I do. Even as his health slowly faded, he stayed cheerful, and I felt lucky to join him on the adventure of a lifetime. That brings us to today when he got to the very end of his spreadsheet, and declared that he was now allergic to every mammal. He\’d enjoyed his journey, but his time had come to an end, for there was nothing left to milk.

   To which I said nonsense, I bet we can milk a few thousand karma out of this post.