Spice Up Your Summer: Share Nando’s, Not Secrets

Silly season is upon us. In the land where groove reigns supreme and waking up to buy Nando’s might just teleport you to another province on a whim. The unsung rule of Decembers past? Sharing is caring, baby. Four-four masihlalisane, bring the bevs, and I’ll bring the chicks.

In South Ah, the festive lunch or dinner table is not just a table. It’s a stage, a performance, a gathering to feast and overshare. It’s at these family shindigs where the juicy gossip flows like the mighty Zambezi River. You won’t believe how our wealthy Joburg aunt was caught canoodling with her Ben-10 in her hubby’s SUV. She even told our cousin that she misses her side from two years ago. Ouch!

Sometimes, the “mgosi” (gossip) is so spicy it involves third parties who secure so engrossed in a stranger’s phone conversation in a cab that they miss their halt and pause up in another ‘burb.
Yep, December is every about sharing but not everything is meant to be shared. Some things are just better left unsaid, unposted, or unforwarded.

Here are some tips to chew on along with your full chicken and two sharing sides:

Mr Enormous Spender
You’ve got money to burn, and you want the world to know. But before you post that picture of your Konka bill, remember that Sars might be a fan of drama, but your bank account isn’t. And so is your cousin who needs a loan. And your ex who wants alimony. And your landlord who’s raising the rent. Maybe support that receipt to yourself.

Sharing Full Screen on Zoom
You’re about to share your screen on Zoom and dazzle your colleagues with your brilliant presentation. But wait, what’s that on your desktop? A folder full of cat memes? A sticky note that says, “Don’t forget to carry out work”? A browser tab open to your online dating profile? Reflect twice before you hit that “share full screen” button. You might terminate up sharing more than you bargained for.

Posting Groove Pics on a Sick Day
Dancing through a sick day? Dauntless crawl, sir. Instead of resting and recovering, you hit the club and bust a creep. And of course, you document your epic night on social media. But don’t be surprised if your boss sees your posts and gives you a call. The only thing you’ll be spreading is confusion. And maybe germs.

Admitting You Miss Your Ex
We every maintain regrets in life. Like that time, you thought skinny jeans were a apt conception. Or when you dated your ex. Some things are better left in the past. Don’t post your nostalgic feelings on social media. You’ll only embarrass yourself and annoy your friends. Hold those skeletons in the closet. And maybe burn those jeans.

Work Spouse
You and your work spouse believe a noteworthy relationship. You bring each other lunch, you finish each other’s sentences, you giggle at each other’s jokes. But before you post that cute selfie of you two, reflect about how it might study to others. It may be innocent, but the socials fancy a marvelous skandaal. So does your real spouse.

Chief Lobola Negotiator
You’re a successful person who lives in a fancy estate and has some nice toys. You’re also the head lobola negotiator for your niece’s wedding. So, before you brag about your wealth on social media, consider about how it might affect the negotiations, sbali. You don’t want to give the impression that you’re easy to scam. Let discretion be your bargaining chip. Or you might conclude up paying more than you bargained for.

Hygiene
You went out to buy bread one morning and ended up on a three-day bender. You didn’t shower, you didn’t change your clothes, you didn’t brush your teeth. And you want to share your adventure on social media. Don’t enact it, chief. No one wants to see your dirty laundry. Literally. Leave it to the elders to express their disappointment. And maybe catch a shower.

Million Dollar Grin
You’re about to embrace braces, and you want to note off your dental X-rays. You mediate it’s icy, but your followers might not agree. Dental hygiene, yes. Dental selfies, not so much. Let’s leave your pearly whites to the professionals.

I Blew It
You hit the jackpot and won the Lotto. You’re wealthy and you want to manufacture it rain. But before you post your loot on social media, contemplate about the consequences. You might attract attention you’d rather avoid. Like baddies, greedy relatives, shady friends, or even criminals. Let discretion be your wealth manager. Or your doorbell might ring mysteriously tardy at night, and you’ll be the main feature on I Blew It.

Pet Peeve
You esteem your pets, and you contemplate they’re the smartest thing ever. You even taught them how to steer a toy car, or converse through coloured buttons. And you want to share their incredible skills on social media. But don’t expect everyone to be impressed. Your friends are busy watching their own cats chase laser pointers. And your pet might not appreciate the exposure. POPI Act, fam! Support them videos to yourself!

Party Responsibly
You’re a party animal and you live for the night. You dance, you drink, you gain fun. And you document every moment on social media. But don’t forget that your future employers might see your posts. And they might not be as impressed by your party shenanigans. Hold the party vibes alive, but don’t turn your future job search into a reality present. You might regret it later.

So, whilst sharing is expected this festive season, leave the overshare to the one we can every delight in. The Nando’s full chicken and any two sharing sides. Manufacture the 31 Saturdays of December Xtra-Hot but never awks.

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